TAKE A SEAT!

Hello and welcome to Vitamin Q, an end of the pier distraction from life's motley fog...

This is now the biggest trivia site on the web! The busiest place for lists and stuff. Just to remind you: this sort-of-a-blog belongs to Roddy Lumsden, a puzzle writer and poet from Scotland now living in Bristol in England. I post trivia lists, curiosities and fragments which please me as a connoisseur of the sequential and the inconsequential. The book version of Vitamin Q will be published by Chambers Harrap in Autumn 2004.

These tend to reflect my interests which include pop, nature, words, Scotland, TV, food, folklore and literature. I post a few items most weeks, so do bookmark and return. If you forget to do this, and want to get back here, just type Vitamin Q or vitaminq into Google - you'll find me. Remember, there's a huge archive to the left too.

 
LUCKY LUCKY CHARMS

7 things that have stopped a bullet:

A book that wasn't the Bible: during an assault on Montauban during the First World War, a British sergeant reported that "two bullets had gone through my metal shaving mirror, through my pocket book case, and had nosed their way into a book I was carrying."

Breast implants: in 2002, a Brazilian woman, caught in crossfire during a police drugs operation, was shot in the chest, but was saved when the bullet was slowed down by the silicone implant in her breast.

A phone: Naoaki Miyazaki and two colleagues were taking the takings from a supermarket in Nagoya to a safe when they were robbed by an elderly Korean man who fired shots when they gave chase. Naoaki was saved when the bullet went through a pad in his pocket and was stopped by his mobile phone.

Policeman's badge: a motorcycle cop in Santiago, Chile was shot in the chest while chasing jewel thieves. Thankfully, the bullet hit his metal badge, and though the force knocked him over, he suffered only bruising.

Body fat: also in Santiago, a 33 year old bus driver was shot while attempting to stop a man who was robbing some passengers. The driver managed to climb on top of the robber and subdue him, but not before he had been shot. However, the driver was so overweight that the bullet lodged in his body fat and did little lasting damage.

A diary: Solon Blaisdell was shot during a battle in the American Civil War. A diary in his coat pocket saved him. Thereafter, he still used the diary, carefully writing round the hole left by the bullet.

A bra: a woman in Michigan City, Indiana went to hospital after some shots were fired into her home from a car. It transpired that her bra had saved her from more serious injury after it stopped a bullet fragment piercing her side.

Source: various. Thanks to Paul May for the list idea and links.

 
ANIMAL, VEGETABLE or MINERAL

10 games of Vitamin Q versus the '20 Questions' computer:

1 squirrel: computer guesses correctly after 13 questions
2 red wine: correct after 19
3 chalk: correct after 20
4 shampoo: correct after 19
5 roast beef: wrong: guesses 'gin & tonic' after 20, guesses 'harp' after 28
6 hula hoop: wrong: guesses 'snorkel' after 20, gets it right too late after 23
7 eagle: wrong: guesses 'condor' after 20, gets answer after 23
8 dandelion: correct after 17
9 vampire: correct after 20
10 shovel: wrong: guesses 'scythe' after 20, correct after 28

The game is here, which I found via the excellent List-o-Links

 
FINNS

The literal meanings of some Finnish surnames:

Alkio - Mrs Embryo
Autiosaari - Mr Deserted Island
Eväs - Mr Picnic Lunch
Haveri - Mr Shipwreck
Hiekkalinna - Mr Sandcastle
Ihanaranta - Mr Lovely Beach
Inha - Mr Disgusting
Kanala - Mrs Henhouse
Kurasto - Mr Mud Collection
Lastuvuori - Mr Chip Mountain
Lehtiö - Ms Notepad
Leini - Mr Fibrositis
Liete - Mrs Liquid Manure
Loukko - Mr Hellhole
Purkantie - Ms Bubblegum's Road
Raaste - Mrs Grated Vegetable
Rantatulkkila - Mr Beach Interpreter
Rinta-Runsala - Mrs Breast-Ample
Rokka - Mr Pea Soup
Teini - Ms Teenager
Tikkari - Mr Lollipop
Vahalinna - Mr Wax Castle
Valtimo - Mrs Artery

Source: thanks to Teppo for permission to reprint some of these. You can find the whole list here at his fine site. Try the card trick and the cryptograms!

 
WRITTEN IN THE STRAS

Celebrity relationship divination by anagram Part One:

KYLIE MINOGUE = I like 'em young!

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE = I'm just ankle-biter!

Yee! Six more of these and maybe I could get on popbitch again!

Next week: Natalie Imbruglia and Shane Ritchie.

 
REST OF THE BESTIARY

13 unusual mammals you probably haven’t heard of:

aplodontia - small rodent of NW USA; looks like someone has put batteries in a toy beaver
baiji - long-beaked, nearly blind dolphin found near China
binturong - shaggy, sloth-like tree-cat of Borneo with orange eyes
colocolo - beady-eyed Chilean tree mouse which lives on bamboo
gelada - Ethiopian baboon which looks like it has been let loose in a lipstick factory, then blow-dried
pacarana - rare, sleepy beast of the Colombian jungle which stares at its food before eating it
quoll - vicious cat-like Australian marsupial with a spotty coat
salano - Madagascan mongoose which performs acrobatics to throw eggs at stones with its hind legs
serow - mysterious and revered grey mountain goat of India which spends most of its life asleep
solenodon - long-legged, long snouted West indian mole, slow-moving and clumsy
teledu - short-tailed Indonesian badger whose foul anal secretions were used in perfume-making
uakari - Brazilian monkey with shaggy grey hair and odd, naked crimson humanoid face
yapok - cheeky long-legged, rat-like swimming marsupial of Mexico

Source: various

 
MOVE OVER ANDROCLES

The tools on a Swiss Army Knife (Victorinox Swiss Champ XLT model)

Large Blade / Small Blade / Pharmaceutical Spatula / Corkscrew / Can Opener / Small Screwdriver / Bottle Opener / Large Screwdriver / Wire Stripper / Electrician’s Blade / Reamer, Puncher & Sewing Eye / Scissors / Hook / Wood Saw / Fish Scaler, Hook Disgorger & Ruler / Pruning Blade / Wrench with 4mm & 5mm female hex drive and 4mm Posidrive 0 & 1 / 4mm Slotted Bit / Phillips 2 Bit / 4mm Hex Bit / Torx 8 Bit / Torx 10 Bit / Torx 15 Bit / Nail File & Nail Cleaner / Metal Saw & File / Fine Screwdriver / Mini Screwdriver / Phillips Screwdriver / Magnifying Glass / Ballpen / Straight Pin / Chisel / Pliers & Wire Cutters / Crimpers / Wire Bender / Keyring / Tweezers / Toothpick

Source: Victorinox

 
WITHOUT FIRE

A discussion of ten common cigarette brands and stereotypical folks who smokes ‘em:

Camel
Roddy: drama students, Sloanes, guys in New York bars (in the olden days)
Marco: prog rock fans
Lucy: "I’ve been travelling for a year and I smoke these now."
Jo: pseudo-traditionalists who inhale with vigour and exhale slowly. Must be in 40s+ age bracket, as I don't know any. Possibly fond of folk music. May also smoke rollies.

John Player Special
Marco: Emerson Fittipaldi lookalikes - anyone with sideboards longer than four inches.
Lucy: snooker hall, middle aged man, drinks mild.
Roddy: supermarket managers, hard middle-class girls, blokes with white socks.

Marlboro Red
Roddy: obsessives, 1980s students, older journalists.
Marco: cowhands, cynical and desiccated single mothers over 40 who make ends meet by waitressing in truckstop caffs.
Jo: odd this one - either hardcore posh horsey types ("What's the point in smoking anything mild, dahling?") or wannabe cowboys who think a brand of fags will detract from the fact they're too old for those leather chaps. Or are they the same thing? Oh - and roofers.
Lucy: 18 year old boys and hardcore 40 a dayers.

Benson & Hedges
Marco: dads and older brothers.
Lucy: teenage girls older than their years, too much makeup, work in Superdrug.
Jo: 40-somethings, stuck in the 80s, longing for the return of days when a bidet with mock-gold fittings and a nice blow-dried tash was something to be proud of, and B&H ads were the epitome of surrealist cool, also blues / jazz aficionados.
Roddy: lad mag readers, people who think The Italian Job is good, barmaids, the Ten Benny English in general.

Embassy Regal
Marco: the hoi-polloi, the Great Unwashed, people for whom Woodbines are too outrageous.
Lucy: divorced, unemployed mothers of 8, living on benefits.
Roddy: outdoor workers of most sorts, tough little men with moustaches, the Scots in general.
Jo: goths, short blokes who like fighting.

Silk Cut
Jo: 40-somethings, people who are 'giving up', teachers.
Lucy: older folk, 'cutting down', posh, dinner parties, part-time smokers.
Roddy: artistes, employment consultants, the unaddicted; me.

Embassy Red
Lucy: teenage boys, 125cc motorbikers, pool playing pub goers.
Roddy: indie kids, barmen, cool students. Cool students who are indie kid barmen. Record producers.
Marco: construction workers and homophobes who 'doth protest too much' and are therefore most probably secretly enraptured by gay porn.

Dunhill
Lucy: I’ve never seen anyone smoke these.
Marco: not so much a cigarette, more a record label that The Mamas & The Papas used to record for.
Roddy: people with false designer labels; rugby and golf fans; those who aspire to, but will never be.

Marlboro Lights
Jo: late 20s, early 30s meeja type or actors (especially in interviews), it's a cigarette without the image of a cigarette.
Marco: ladies.
Roddy: the feckless and tasteless majority, (um, including me if I run out and Jo has some).
Lucy: students and 20 something women, white wine, clubbers, office workers.

Lambert & Butler
Lucy: folk on the dole, waiting for buses.
Marco: No one. Do you know anyone who smokes Lambert & Butler?
Roddy: people who are short of cash; bus drivers; older middle class people.
Jo: skanky teens outside supermarkets, girls with 'council facelifts', boys with previous.

By RcL (30 Silk Cut a week) and (thanks to) J, L and M. And bring back No.6!

 
FOREVER ENGLAND

Some quaint and unusual English village names:

1 Ainderby Quernhow
2 Allerton Mauleverer
3 Appleby Parva
4 Ashford Carbonel
5 Askham Bryan
6 Barton in the Beans
7 Belchamp Walter
8 Blubberhouses
9 Bradfield Combust
10 Compton Pauncefoot
11 Cow Honeybourne
12 Frisby on the Wreake
13 Fulmodeston
14 Great Weeke
15 Gussage All Saints
16 Haselbury Plucknett
17 Huish Champflower
18 Little Snoring
19 London Apprentice
20 Lydiard Millicent
21 Maggots End
22 Mappowder
23 Martyr Worthy
24 Melbury Osmond
25 Nempnett Thrubwell
26 Nether Wallop
27 New Invention
28 Ottery St Mary
29 Queen Camel
30 Ryme Intrinseca
31 St Giles in the Wood
32 Upper Slaughter
33 Weston-under-Lizard
34 Westward Ho!
35 Windy Arbour
36 Worth Maltravers
37 Zeal Monachorum

 
FORKED TONGUES

Some words in English which are also the names of world languages:

Pear (Cambodia) / Mire (Chad) / Song (Thailand) / Anal (India) / Yoke (Indonesia) / Fang (Gabon) / Bongo (Sudan) / Duke (Polynesia) / Puma (Nepal) / Hung (Laos) / Vale (C Africa Rep) / Bum (W Africa) / Mum (PNG) / Reel (Sudan) / Bats (Georgia) / Ham (Nigeria) / Male (E Africa) / Are (PNG) / Boon (Somalia) / Poke (Congo) / Noon (Senegal) / Fur (Sudan) / Mango (Chad) / Label (PNG) / Anus (Indonesia) / Day (Chad) / Bile (Nigeria) / Con (Laos)

And a few other languages with unusual names:

Amis
Enya
Tay Boi
Kola
Grebo
Litzlitz
Moo
Nklapmx
Tenis
Mama
Lushootseed

Source: various

 
THE MORNING AFTER

40 supposed hangover cures:

1 gherkins
2 cabbage water
3 ginger
4 red-eye (a concoction)
5 prairie oyster (ditto)
6 Paraxine (a detox drug)
7 cysteine
8 rabbit droppings
9 rollmop herrings
10 Gatorade
11 chemotherapy pills
12 yoghurt with garlic
13 vitamins B and C (and Q?)
14 ginkgo
15 noodle soup
16 aspirin
17 junk food
18 kedgeree
19 nux vomica
20 Lucozade / Irn Bru
21 artichoke axtract
22 menudo (Mexican tripe soup)
23 toast and sweet tea
24 coke and crisps
25 sleep
26 Bloody Mary
27 bananas and milk
28 cold kebab breakfast
29 pure oxygen
30 milk thistle
31 sex
32 omelette
33 milk shake
34 chicken soup
35 cumin seeds
36 spicy food
37 pizza
38 soot
39 vinegar
40 breast milk

Source: various

 
MY LONELY TEARS

Some classic 'break-up' LPs:

1 Bob Dylan - Blood On the Tracks
2 Fleetwood Mac - Rumours
3 Ryan Adams - Heartbreaker
4 Elvis Costello - Blood and Chocolate
5 Virginia Astley - Hope in a Darkened Heart
6 Tori Amos - Boys For Pele
7 Beck - Sea Change
8 Joni Mitchell- Blue
9 Marvin Gaye - Here, My Dear
10 Blur - 13
11 Bob Mould - Workbook
12 Richard & Linda Thompson - Shoot Out the Lights
13 PJ Harvey - Rid Of Me

 
MacLUCIFER

Some old, old names from Scots for the Devil:

1 Auld A' Ill Thing
2 Auld Ane
3 Auld Bobby
4 Auld Bogie
5 Auld Bo-ho
6 Auld Boy
7 Auld Carle
8 Auld Chap
9 Auld Chiel
10 Auld Clootie
11 Auld Donald
12 Auld Fellow
13 Auld Hangie
14 Auld Harry
15 Auld Hornie
16 Auld Mahoun
17 Auld Man
18 Auld Neil
19 Auld Nick
20 Auld Nickey
21 Auld Nickie Ben
22 Auld Roughy
23 Auld Sandy
24 Auld Saunders
25 Auld Smith
26 Auld Sooty
27 Auld Thief
28 Auld Waghorn
29 Auld Whaup-neb

Source: Warrack (1911)

 
RUM PUNCH

Some 18th century slang definitions, using the term rum:

rum beck - a justice of the peace
rum bite - a clever cheat
rum bleating cheat - a fat wether sheep
rum blowen - a handsome wench
rum bluffer - a jolly host
rum bob - a young apprentice
rum boozing welts - bunches of grapes
rum bubber - a dexterous fellow at stealing silver tankards from taverns
rum bugher - a valuable dog
rum bung - a full purse
rum chub - among butchers, a custom easily imposed on, as to the quality and price of meat
rum chant - a song
rum clout / wiper - a fine silk or cambric handkerchief
rum cod - a purse of gold
rum cole / ghelt - new money or medals
rum cove - a clever rogue
rum degen / tilter / tol - a fine sword
rum dell / doxy - a fine wench
rum diver / dubber / file - an expert pickpocket
rum drawers - silk stockings
rum duke - an odd eccentric fellow
rum gaggers - cheats who tell wonderful stories of their sufferings at sea, or when taken by the Algerines
rum glymmer - king of the link-boys
rum kicks - breeches of gold or silver brocade
rum mawnd - one that counterfeits a fool
rum mort - a queen or great lady
rum nab - a good hat
rum nantz - good French brandy
rum ned - a very rich silly fellow
rum pad - the highway
rum padders - highwaymen well mounted and armed
rum peepers - fine looking-glasses
rum prancer - a fine horse
rum quids - a great booty
rum ruff peck - Westphalia ham
rum snith - a smart fillip on the nose
rum squeeze - much wine, or good liquor, given among fiddlers
rum topping - a rich commode or women’s head-dress
rum ville - London

Source: As you can see, in ‘cant’ (common or criminal slang) rum meant fine, remarkable or great. Mostly from Grose’s Dictionary (1785 / 1811).