SING SWAN SING

Songs and tunes sharing their names with ‘Shakespeare’ plays:

1 Julius Caesar - The Mills Brothers
2 Measure for Measure - Glenn Miller
3 Hamlet - The Birthday Party
4 Coriolanus - Blyth Power
5 Othello - Dance Hall Crashers
6 Much Ado About Nothing - Forest
7 All’s Well That Ends Well - Dr John
8 Timon of Athens - Duke Ellington
9 Macbeth - John Cale
10 The Taming of the Shrew - Weddings Parties Anything
11 Romeo and Juliet - Dire Straits
12 A Midsummer Night’s Dream - Jan and Dean
13 As You Like It - Adam Faith
14 Richard III - Supergrass
15 Henry the Eighth - Harry Champion
16 The Tempest - Bedroom Heroes

 
TIMEWASTERS

Regular fans of VitQ might (or might not) want to take the Vitamin Q QUIZ. Anyone getting more than five right really ought to get out more.

The 'twenty questions' GAME which I based a list on last year has moved, but is still great fun for word geeks, cardy-wearers and the bored-at-work.

And while we are at it, this vocabulary TEST is a must for all word lovers (takes about 10 minutes). Very tough in parts - I got 162 out of 200. Can you beat me?

Roddy

 
QUACKS FILES

Duck characters from TV, books and animation:

1 Count Duckula - vegetarian fusspot vampire duck from 1980s animation series
2 Daffy Duck - Warners favourite, no introduction required
3 Edd the Duck - green duck puppet which appeared with BBC TV link men Andy Crane and AndI Peters (late 1980s and early 1990s)
4 Jemima Puddle-duck - character from Beatrix Potter’s children’s classics
5 Duck - from Dog and Duck, toddler’s TV series about the household adventures of a dog-on-wheels and his blue-beaked sidekick
6 Super Duck - 1940s / 50s comic character
7 Howard the Duck - rogue anti-hero duck from Marvel Comics; later star of a flop movie version
8 Doodles - short-tempered 1950s comic duck whose nephew Lemuel always out-smarted him
9 Donald Duck - Disney favourite, his extended family featured in the Duck Tales comic series*
10 Rubber Duckie - bath time toy eulogised in song by Sesame Street’s Ernie
11 Plucky Duck - bottle-green Daffy-like mini-menace from Tiny Toons
12 The Duck - in Friends, Joey and Chandler acquire two pets, a chick and a duck; hilarity ensues
13 Dabble - a pet duck which outgrows the family home in a story for small children (other duck story book characters for children include Mucky Duck, Ping, Albert, Stickybeak, Boris, Quacker, Curious Maggie and Dribble)
14 Orville - bright green, furry ventriloquist’s duck (with Keith Harris) who was hugely popular in the UK in the 1980s, even scoring a novelty hit with 'Orville’s Song'
15 Darkwing - 1990s Disney superhero spoof; his sidekick Launchpad was originally a Duck Tales character
16 Dab Dab - bossy housekeper to Hugh Lofting’s Doctor Doolittle
17 Dirty Duck - clownish underground comic character who later became a fixture of Playboy magazine
18 Becky the Duck - minor character from US high school sitcom Saved By the Bell
19 The Duckling - character fromTom and Jerry
20 Gertrude - pet duck in Nicholson Baker’s novel A Book of Matches
21 Gertrude - also the name of the duck in Journey to the Centre of the Earth
22 'Unnamed Duck' - in Terry Pratchett's Discworld books, an unnamed, and strangely unacknowledged duck sits on the head of a down-at-heel beggar known as the Duck Man
23 Dinky Duck - early animated character - a cute black duck
24 Duckman - grouchy TV-noir ducktective who scrabbles to solve crimes with his side-pig Cornfed

*Other duck characters from the Duck Tales comics include Daisy, Huey, Dewey and Louie, Quackmore Duck, Grandma Duck, Miss Quackfaster, Fethry Duck, April, May and June, Scrooge McDuck, Mrs Beakley, Hortense, Glittering Goldie, Moby Duck, Webbigail, Flintheart Glomgold, Gladstone Gander (not a goose), Matilda, Double-O Duck and Ludwig Von Drake.

 
DANGER H2O

Water related injuries, ailments and predicaments:

Bath and Shower

1 toe stuck in bath-tap
2 near heart failure from stepping on loose bathmat
3 excessive wrinkling
4 bloodshot eye shampoo horror
5 slippery skin caused by overdose of bubble bath
6 brain fried by mixer tap madness
7 chill caught from falling asleep in tepid bathwater
8 late for meeting due to hotel power shower pleasure
9 soap accidentally jammed in bodily orifice (yeah, sure)
10 toe stubbage caused by misjudging bath height
11 slipping on soap
12 temporary tattoo due to sitting on plug chain
13 in big trouble for putting wrong smelly stuff in (maybe just me)
14 forgetting not all body parts as heat resistant as foot used to test water
15 scalded in shower when some idiot in kitchen runs cold tap

Swimming Pool

1 vinegar sinuses due to water up nose
2 mortal embarrassment caused by costume loss after fancy dive
3 dive-bomber’s arse rash
4 lung-ache due to water swallowing
5 groin strain due to involuntary demonstration of the splits in wet changing room
6 infection from water in ears
7 finding someone’s old lint or plaster stuck to your leg
8 weals caused by wet costume flicking contest
9 head bump hitting pool-end while doing back stroke
10 fractured skull from diving into shallow end
11 veruccas
12 stinging stomach due to belly flop dive
13 dyed blonde hair turns green due to chlorine

Sea

1 jellyfish stinging
2 nausea from bellyful of diluted sewage
3 nappy rash due to not changing out of wet costume
4 bouffant splashed by tinky kids
5 getting caught in oil slick
6 sex in the shallows hydraulics thing (will spare details)
7 falling asleep on lilo and waking near Tahiti
8 standing on stonefish or razor shell
9 narrowly jumped by water-skier
10 Loose Waterwing Syndrome (under medical debate)
11 head stoved in on concealed rock
12 becoming shark lunch
13 life curiously underwhelming when it flashes past you, going down for the third time

 
HELP MA BOAB!

Oor Wullie is the cartoon rogue known in Scotland and Northern England from his long-term weekly adventures in The Sunday Post. His strips always begin and end with Wullie sitting on an upturned bucket. Here are 20 variations from the classic "Wullie on bucket" final frame.

1 Wullie on 2 cushions, cushions on bucket (fell over ice skating)
2 Wullie on 3 cushions, cushions on bucket (fell off cuddy)
3 Wullie in kayak, kayak on bucket (stuck)
4 Wullie on bucket, bucket on armchair (new armchair not comfy)
5 Wullie next to bucket (too sair to sit down)
6 Wullie next to bucket (Pa using bucket for putting practice)
7 Wullie hovering over bucket (bucket icy cold)
8 No Wullie, no bucket (off looking for it - thrown away by Wee Eck)
9 Bucket only (Wullie hiding from PC Murdoch)
10 Bucket only (Wullie having a bath)
11 Bucket only (Wullie drying out in front of fire)
12 Bucket only (Wullie grounded)
13 Wullie on PC Murdoch's hat (Pa using bucket for seedlings)
14 Wullie on bucket, feather duster on head (Big Chief Sitting Bucket)
15 Wullie on bucket, captain's hat on head (won toy boat race)
16 Wullie on bucket, in bandages (came a cropper sliding on tackety boots)
17 Wullie on bucket, big tum (stovies for tea)
18 Wullie leaning against bucket, big tum (mince and tatties for tea)
19 PC Murdoch on bucket, dressed as Wullie (Wullie at fancy dress party, dressed as policeman) 20 Wee Jeemy on bucket, juggling cheese (Auchenshoogle juggling week)

Some notes: help ma boab (gosh, jeez), cuddy (horse), Wee Eck (Wullie's little pal), PC Murdoch (Wullie's policeman nemesis), stovies (a potato hash dish), Jeemy (pet mouse).

Source: various Oor Wullie books; thanks to Judy B for researching this one.

 
TROT ON

The Jill books, by Ruby Ferguson, were first published in the 1950s. Featuring Jill Crewe and her ponies Black Boy and Rapide, the series comprises:

Jill's Gymkhana
A Stable for Jill
Jill Has Two Ponies
Jill Enjoys Her Ponies
Jill's Riding Club
Pony Jobs for Jill
Jill and the Perfect Pony
Rosettes for Jill
Jill's Pony Trek

For those unacquainted with the joys of a vicarious First in the Showing, here are 10 signs that you have stumbled into a Jill book:

1) There will be girls wearing ties, with well-pressed shirts that are worn but clean. And jodhs.
2) Mealtimes will be signalled by bell or gong.
3) Jill will burst into a genteel social gathering in an unkempt state, very possibly with bits of straw in her hair.
4) Cousin Cecilia will prove herself an utter blot.
5) An initially forbidding upper-class person, perhaps with a military title, and almost certainly with a double-barreled name, will recognise Jill as the right sort.
6) The day of the gymkhana will dawn misty or dull, then brighten up.
7) Someone will canter a perfect figure of eight, with a change of legs in the middle.
8) Ices will be consumed, though these may be the watery sort that taste of synthetic egg.
9) A spoilt child on an expensive pony will get its come-uppance in the jumping.
10) The qualities of pluck, hard work and general all-round decency will correlate highly with the winning of rosettes.

Source: thanks to NJB for Jill Knowledge - Red Rosette!

 
PLAY IT AGAIN

Many, many musical instruments you may never have heard of:

xylorimba / vielle / atumpan / orchestrion / bandoura / pochette / sopranino / bonnang / sopile / trompette / sringara / zeze / mokugyo / ramkie / stock-and-horn / enzenze / reshoto / bagana / gutbucket / khen / tar / clarsach / totombito / kakko / sonajero / fandur / txistu / tlapiztali / masenoo / ottavino / tsuzumi / bullroarer / gekkin / zinke / triccaballacca / alghaita / shanai / dugdugi / shaing / ingungu / gender / reco-reco / santir / penorcon / fagotto / mbila / darabukke / tiktiri / huruk / buisine / mvet / yü / tippoo’s tiger / console / erh-hu / viola bastarda / tiple / yangum / zurla / pu-ilu / biniou / theorbo / alboka / surnaj / quinton / gue / veena / surbahar / salpinx / tro-khmer / rommelpot / cornemuse / symphonium / shiwaya

oliphant / mirliton / dvoynice / bombarde / crecelle / mandobass / vihuela / talambas / changko / fidla / cornu / crotals / dauli / langleik / qanun / outi / urua / daibyoshi / hummel / murumbu / tupan / fuye / orpharion / geigenwerk / kanoon / schrillpfeife / koto / sanko / diplo-kithara / zel / teponaztli / gusli / zufolo / spitzharfe / heckelclarina / regal / shakuhachi / pommer / hautboy / crwth / kayakeum / shõ / arghul / bhaya / lithophone / zampogna / kene / curtal / valiha / piffaro / gaita / zambomba / mandola / ophicleide / bin / hurdy-gurdy / putorino / kenong / ud / taiko / hardangerfele / auloi / kachapi / zobo / cipactli / tro-u / komungo / pibcorn / cobza / chakay / jingling johnny / bandurria / chakay / ngoma / lirica

sistrum / physharmonica / violone / launeddas / zummara / tambura / bassanello / djunadjan / ronéat-ek / bumbass / sarangi / nyckelharpa / zanze / kemanak / gling-bu / courtaut / sarrusophone / bicitrabin / nakers / trump-marine / naqara / panhuéhuetl / tudum / poogyee / sheng / slughorn / uti / strumento di porco / gajdy / baryulele / rinchik / kelontong / bata / flexatone / kamanje / chang / gittern / adenkum / rkan-dung / arpanetta / chalumeau / hydraulis / yangchin / chitarrone / phorminx / aulos / helicon / cloascione / sambuca / paimensarvi / ribibe / kent-bugle / charango / sordone / phonofiddle / bazooka / bumpa / hackbrett / carnyx / saz / nguru / guimbard / humstrum

Source: various

 
THE SHIVERS

40 candidates for the 'scariest film ever':

1 Candyman
2 The Shining
3 Vertigo
4 The Silence of the Lambs
5 Hellraiser
6 Signs
7 Nightmare on Elm Street
8 Spoorloos (The Vanishing)
9 Eraserhead
10 The Entity
11 The Sixth Sense
12 Child’s Play
13 Seven
14 Wait Until Dark
15 The Exorcist
16 Event Horizon
17 Ringu
18 Play Misty For Me
19 The Omen
20 Species
21 The Eye
22 La Cabina
23 Audition
24 Dawn of the Dead
25 The Thing
26 Repulsion
27 Alien
28 Dead of Night
29 Sisters
30 Texas Chainsaw Massacre
31 Braindead
32 Suspiria
33 Jaws
34 Jacob’s Ladder
35 In Cold Blood
36 Halloween
37 The Blair Witch Project
38 Psycho
39 Woman in Black
40 The Evil Dead

Source: various

 
VitQ BOOK PUBLISHED SHOCK!

The fat book partly based on this blog is now available. Vitamin Q - a temple of trivia lists and curious words is published by Chambers Harrap. It is available via all the usual channels (and bookshops in the UK very soon). You can also order it (at a discount price, with inexpensive postage to any country) directly from the publisher by clicking here. Doing this means more pennies will eventually come to me. You can win a free copy by trying the competition at that link too (scroll down the page). Can I just mention what a fabulous Christmas gift it makes for teenage boys, Scrabble-playing aunts, trendy sisters, pedantic dads and any old orang utan that can read?

Over a quarter of VitQ the book is brand new material. Much of the rest is improved, embellished and, erm, corrected. Here is a list (sigh) of some of the items exclusive to the book:

1 punk rock pseudonyms
2 fictional eskimos
3 showbiz nicknames
4 sausage dishes of planet Earth
5 state nicknames
6 fool’s errands (sky hooks, glass hammers etc)
7 aviatresses’ adventures
8 fine old Scots words like bern-windlin (‘a kiss given in the corner of a barn‘)
9 sweeties of yesteryear
10 beautiful flower names
11 bizarre human ailments
12 famous Uncles
13 dance crazes of the last 50 years
14 more Meaning of Liff-style definitions
15 more spoof Latin phrases
16 obsolete professions (such as slubber doffer and cat’s meat man)
17 proverbs and quotes on cats
18 strange psychological syndromes
19 things that have been hidden
20 how to say goodbye

 
UP FRONT

20 words for ‘nose’:

1 honker
2 beezer
3 nozzle
4 snoot
5 conk
6 pecker
7 snotterbox
8 boko
9 smeller
10 button
11 hooter
12 muzzle
13 neb
14 snout
15 garden (hose / rose)
16 snitch
17 bulb
18 schnozzle
19 trunk
20 beak

 
ONLY SQUARES DO EDGES FIRST

Seven scenes which would make difficult jigsaw puzzles:

1 The International Ghosts’ Snowballing Final
2 Marrowfat pea hidden on a snooker table
3 Smurfs skinnydipping in Lake Quink
4 World’s biggest helping of bananas and custard
5 The Red Arrows posting Valentines
6 A black cat counting bibles in a coal mine
7 Orang utans eating Wotsits on Ayers Rock

 
TWITTERSWEET

Birds named after their songs or calls:

1 kea
2 peewit
3 kiskadee
4 chachalaca
5 bobolink
6 chiffchaff
7 hoopoe
8 chukar
9 killdeer
10 whip-poor-will
11 morepork
12 cuckoo
13 chickadee
14 kittiwake
15 dickcissel
16 curlew
17 chuck-will’s-widow
18 odidi
19 kookaburra
20 towhee
21 bobwhite

 
TOETAPPERS

A list of body-part songs:

Hair - The Cowsills
Skull - Sebadoh
Forehead - Mickey Finn
Brain - Chick Corea
Eyebrows - Redd Foxx
Eyes - Donna Summer
Cheeks - Bill Evans
Lips - The Beautiful South
Teeth - The Soft Machine
Tongue - REM
Neck - The Laurels
Shoulder - The Stylistics
Spine - They Might Be Giants
Elbow - Eugene Chadbourne
Belly - Ryuichi Sakamoto
Waist - Sonic Youth
Hip - The Scorpions
Hands - Jewel
Finger - Prince Buster
Fingertips - Stevie Wonder
Legs - ZZ Top
Heel - Eartha Kitt
Toes - Norah Jones
Toenails - Earl Pitts

Wrists seem to be particularly influential on songwriters. There are songs called Sturdy Wrist, Slit the Wrist, Wrist Job, Ice on My Wrist, Wristcutter’s Lullaby , Sara’s Wrist Grab, Pop Yo Wrist, Charms Around Your Wrist, Wrist Slashing Romance, Eli‘s Broken Wrist, Don‘t Forget Your Wrist, Italian Man With a Fat Wrist Band, Wrist, Meet Razor, Grandma‘s Got a Shaky Wrist and Wristful Cormorant. More of all this in VQ2.

 
SPUN OUT

Variations on 'spun sugar':

In the UK: candy floss
In the US: cotton candy
In Australia: fairy floss
In India (sometimes): sweet cotton
In German: Zuckerwatte (sugarcottonwool)
In Spanish: algodón de azúcar (sugar cotton)
In Italian: zucchero filato (spun sugar)
In French: barbe à papa (Dad's beard)
In Swedish: sockervadd (sugar wadding)
In Gaelic: clòimh mhilis (sugar fleece)

 
CREATURE COMFORTS

Some of the odder comparisons used to describe the smell and taste of malt whiskies:

Nose: mint-toffee / burnt currants / pralines / buttered parsnips / corky / polished leather / beeswax / guava / linseed / briny / roasted peppers / toast / hint of sulphur / hay / sea air / rope / resiny / crystallized fruits / light lipstick / shellac / coconut fudge / dates / fresh earth / barley sugar / leafy bonfires / a walk on the dunes / juniper / walnuts / marshmallow / hint of phenol / starched linen / pebbles on the beach

Palate: grassy / Seville orange / briar / nutmeg / crème brûlée / cookies / seed-cake / wet wool / strawberry shortcake / touch of iron / sagebrush / butterscotch / flapjack / sherbety / carbolic / oaty / dried buttercups / marron glacé / water melon / bamboo shoots / menthol / gorse / Belgian toffee wafers / cactus / hay / lemon jelly / male cosmetics / pears in cream / oaky / dried banana / butter / baked aubergines / angelica

Finish: tree bark / nougat / green apples / wintergreen / faint smoke / emphatic mint / fibre / salted cashews / spritzy / parma violets / log fires / almost sandy / lemon skins / gummy / toffee apples / sappy / cigar smoke / tangerines / incoming tide / shortbread / cough syrup / ferns / black chocolate / medicinal peat / mustardy / mint imperials / flowering currant / polished stone / lemon curd / aniseed / burnt cake

Source: Michael Jackson’s Malt Whisky Companion (DK)

 
SPLITTING YOUR SIDES

Some unusually named soccer team names from around the globe:

Adelaide Sensation (Australia)
Admira Wacker (Austria)
Avant Garde (Tunisia)
Auburn Star (Australia)
Austin Lightning (USA)
Barking Ladies (England)
Blooming (Bolivia)
Cape Coast Mysterious Dwarfs (Ghana)
Cascade Surge (USA)
Chimney Corner (Ireland)
Deportivo Moron (Argentina)
Eleven Men in Flight (Swaziland)
Energie Cottbus (Germany)
Germinal (Belgium)
Go Ahead Eagles (Netherlands)
Golf Leopards (Sierra Leone)
Grasshoppers (Switzerland)
Hacken (Sweden)
Heart of Midlothian (Scotland)
Hearts of Oak (Ghana)
Heracles (Netherlands)
Invincible Eleven (Liberia)
Jazz (Finland)
Joe Public (Trinidad)
Kashima Antlers (Japan)
King Faisal Babies (Ghana)
Kyoto Purple Sanga (Japan)
Lawn Tennis (Peru)
Long Island Lady Riders (USA)
Mighty Blackpool (Sierra Leone)
Mito Hollyhock (Japan)
MyPa (Finland)
Nancy Lorraine (France)
Naughty Boys (Botswana)
Odds (Norway)
Olympic Sharks (Australia)
Public Bank (Malaysia)
Queen of the South (Scotland)
Racing Club (Argentina)
Shamrock Rovers (Ireland)
Sheffield Wednesday (England)
Shooting Stars (Nigeria)
Start (Norway)
Stationery Stores (Nigeria)
Sylvia (Sweden)
Total Big Bullets (Malawi)
Total Network Solutions (Wales)
Vasco de Gama (Brazil)
Virginia Beach Mariners (USA)
Wits University (South Africa)
Woolongong Wolves (Australia)
Young Boys (Switzerland)
Zulu Royals (South Africa)

Source: various